It Was A Joke
by Hellsleprechaun
Summary: Kol decides to play a joke on Klaus, it backfires resulting in Klaus tring to talk to him about sex, Rebekah trying to find him a boyfriend and none of his over-bearing family believing him when he tries to tell the truth.


**Just something I was thinking about the other day.**

**I do not own the vampire diaries, it belongs to L.J Smith and the CW.**

Klaus was sitting in the brightly coloured garden outside of his large house, sketching absent mindedly.

"Nik, can I talk to you for a minute?" Kol's unusually nervous voice came from behind him. Kol came closer and sat beside him on the grass, bringing his knees up so he could rest his chin on them.

"What have you done?" He asked with an amused smile.

"I haven't done anything, Nik. I need to tell you something. Something important."

At the surprisingly serious tone to Kol's voice, Klaus glanced up at him. "Alright." He said warily, waiting for Kol to speak, whatever his brother was planning to tell him he had a feeling it wasn't going to be something unpleasant, and he did not mean unpleasant in a hilarious way. "I'm assuming that you're telling me because Elijah will murder you if you tell him."

Kol ignored his last comment and took a deep breath, "I want you to remember that I'm still your brother and-"

"Get on with it, Kol."

"Fine. I just want you to remember that I was born this way."

At the song title Klaus began to smirk childishly, "shut up, Nik. I'm trying to be serious. As my brother, I really need your support in this." He implored passionately.

Niklaus stared at his younger brother for a long moment before nodding once.

"I'm gay." Kol announced, and watched Klaus, waiting for his explosive reaction.

"Finally." Nik laughed happily and clapped Kol on the shoulder.

"What?" Kol demanded shrilly.

"Well it's been a thousand years, Kol, I was beginning to think that you'd never tell us."

_What? _Kol thought to himself in shock, this was supposed to be a joke. Klaus was supposed to overreact with hysterical consequences. He was not supposed to confide that he had thought so all along.

"W..what do…" He sputtered.

"You've always had tendencies: the way you dress, your love of musicals, you hate getting dirt on yourself and you attacked Matt at our ball."

"What does that have to do with anything?" He was bewildered.

"You were jealous, he was with Rebekah and you wanted him to be with you. He is a good looking boy." Klaus acknowledged appreciatively.

At Kol's stunned look, he continued, "I've been known to dabble myself, in the past."

Kol grimaced, he had not wanted that image in his head. He was debating how best to tell his brother that this whole thing had been a joke when his internal debate was interrupted.

"You'll have to tell Elijah and Bekah." At Kol's horrified expression he reassured him, "I'll come with you, we can go right now." Klaus instructed, getting to his feet and hauling Kol up by the arm.

"But Nik, wait-"

"For what, Kol?" He sounded exasperated. "I don't understand why you're so worried about telling them. Elijah will just be disappointed that he owes me $10,000."

"What? Why?" Kol's eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

"We've had a bet going on this for centuries, of course the amount has changed over time."

"You mean Elijah has always thought…?"

"No. _I _always thought, he said I was crazy." Klaus chuckled fondly, "Rebekah will just be glad she has someone to go shopping with."

_Great! _Kol thought, he was now going to have to come out to his whole family.

Inside the house, they found their brother and sister in the living room, Elijah reading a newspaper and Rebekah a fashion magazine.

As though sensing that something was amiss, Elijah's eyes flickered up to them as soon as they entered the room. "What's going on?" He wondered, laying his paper down beside him.

Rebekah also put down her magazine wit a sigh, she thought as the only girl of the family, she was supposed to be the drama queen, but no that position belonged to either Klaus or Kol.

"Kol has something he needs to announce." Klaus informed them, seeming extremely amused by the whole situation. He had been anticipating proving Elijah wrong on this for years.

When Kol did not speak, he smiled happily and smugly told Elijah, "you owe me $10,000."

Elijah cursed mildly and frowned. "I don't believe you. How have you persuaded Kol to lie about this?"

"I didn't. He told me, I swear." He vowed.

"You'll forgive me for not taking your word for it." Elijah said wryly, causing the blonde to roll his eyes.

"Wait, Kol's gay? I knew I should have gotten in on that bet!" Rebekah hissed, her voice full of annoyance directed towards herself.

"You all knew about this?" He practically screeched.

"Well, yes. We've been talking about it for years. Elijah said straight, Klaus said gay, I said bisexual."

Kol finally lost all patience with the situation and snapped, "I am not gay! I made it up. It was supposed to be a joke, I thought Nik would freak out and it would be funny. It turns out he's totally okay with that kind of thing and was weirdly accepting about it."

"Kol!" Rebekah chastised irritably, "don't back down now. I know you thought you'd hidden it well, but it's not a big deal that you're so camp."

"I don't know why you thought any of us would mind," Nik contributed.

"No, seriously, it was a joke! I'm straight, straight as… a ruler."

"A flexible ruler," Rebekah mumbled, causing Klaus to snigger.

"I am not gay!" He yelled.

"Are you one of those homophobic gays?" Elijah inquired casually.

"No, I'm a non-homophobic homosexu- Heterosexual!" He corrected himself quickly. That did not help the matter.

He spent the rest of the morning attempting to convince his brothers and sister that the whole thing had been a joke, his efforts were in vain. No matter what he said, they assumed that he was just trying to "_jump back into the closet."_

Eventually he stormed out of the house, he needed to be away from them and their intrusive questions.

Rebekah asked if he currently had a boyfriend and if that was what had caused his confession. When he denied this, she started trying to set him up with somebody, while Elijah and Nik had helpfully supplied the names of single gay man they knew- a surprising amount.

Klaus had decided to ask about how many men he had slept with. When he insisted none, Nik had decided it was his duty to give Kol a talk about sex. As soon as he heard the word _lubricant _he had hastily exited the room. There were certain things he did not want to know about Klaus, his many sexual encounters were included in this.

Elijah had seemed perfectly content with his being gay, despite his protestations otherwise, but was disappointed to be out by $10,000.

Kol sat alone in the grill, drinking shot after shot of whiskey. As he was debating how to convince his siblings that the whole thing was a joke Damon Salvatore sat down in the seat beside him. He and the other vampire were not exactly on the best terms, however there was nobody else to talk to.

"My whole family thinks I'm gay." He informed him.

Damon nodded once, "fair enough."

"I came out to Nik,"

"Huh, well that solves the mystery of why he thinks you're gay." Damon deadpanned.

"It was a joke!" He whined, "I thought he'd get uncomfortable and awkward and it would be amusing. Instead it turns out that just because my brother is an evil, murderous hybrid, doesn't mean he isn't an open minded guy."

"Yeah, Klaus isn't being a total dick, that must be awful." Damon said with faux sympathy.

"Do you have any modes other than sarcastic?" Kol smirked, although he supposed he didn't really mind.

"Sorry, I only have snarky, hilarious, awesome and heartthrob. Take your pick."

Kol ignored him and carried on. "Anyway, he made me come out to Elijah and Rebekah." Damon began to guffaw at that. "It turns out that Klaus has had a bet with Elijah, in favour of gay for centuries."

Damon continued laughing, "I don't see what the big deal is. So what, they think your gay? I mean, I know you're from a different time and all but… the times have changed, most people don't care so much anymore."

"I… I'm frustrated, none of them will believe me."

"So? You say it as though you're usually well trusted. Your older brothers are _Elijah _and _Klaus_, surely not being trusted is not a new thing."

Kol shrugged in agreement.

As he and Damon continued drinking, their camaraderie grew and Kol began to think that the elder Salvatore wasn't so bad when he heard a voice emanate from directly behind him.

"I see that Rebekah needn't bother setting you up with anyone, you've already successfully found yourself a

Boyfriend. I can't say I approve of your choice in men but…." Klaus trailed off, his smirk in place.

"Shut up, Nik. He's not my boyfriend, he's… Damon is my new friend."

"So that's what you kids are calling it these days," his brother teased.

Kol was about to snap back when Damon spoke, "don't look so offended, buddy. You could do a lot worse than me, all I'm saying." Damon informed him in a way that might have been stern were it not for the alcohol coursing through his system.

"Come on, Kol, Elijah wants you home."

"Why?" He groaned, "me and Damon were having fun."

"I can see that, if I'd arrived ten minutes later it might have evolved into overnight fun." He taunted.

"Hate you." Kol muttered, but pushed himself away from the bar to follow his brother outside. He paused when he heard Damon laughing and turned back to him. "Just to let you know, one of the guys Nik slept with was probably Stefan." He beamed evilly as Damon scowled, "enjoy that picture."

Once they arrived home, Elijah and Rebekah were waiting for them, both appearing ridiculously amused.

"What's going on?" He asked, still sober enough to be speaking clearly.

"We decided to put you out of your misery." Elijah said with a small smile.

"We know you're not gay, Kol." Rebekah giggled.

"Do we?" Klaus asked in a tone that was only half joking.

"Yes. I heard you _confessing _to Nik and I knew you was lying. So, Elijah and I decided to wind you up."

"You…I..you guys are bastards," he settled on. "So, none of you have been betting on my sexuality behind my back?"

"Oh, no, that part was true. The only difference being that I do not owe Niklaus $10,000 dollars." Elijah stated calmly.

"Okay, but I don't understand. How did Nik know that I was lying?" His brother had always been intelligent but this was good even for him.

"I didn't." Nik replied cheerily.

"What?" He whirled to face him.

"I've been waiting for you to admit it for nearly a millennium. I mean, as stated earlier, you do have tendencies. I only realised you were lying after you left and they told me."

"I do not have tendencies!" He argued, gazing around the room for support- he received none. "I don't." He insisted before dramatically storming out of the room to go to bed.

As soon as they heard his bedroom door close, Rebekah turned to her brothers, "I want in on that bet. $15,000 on bisexual."

Klaus nodded and addressed Elijah, "our bet is still on."

The siblings shook on it and sat down to watch some television when Klaus spoke. "By the way, when he finally does some out of his closet, someone needs to warn off Damon Salvatore, there was definitely some ho-yay going on between those two tonight and I feel that Kol could do better."

"Agreed, Damon's an arsehole." Rebekah backed up Nik.

"How about we come to an agreement, Kol doesn't date anyone, male, female or other unless at least two of the three of us approve." Elijah suggested reasonably.

They all agreed on this plan of action, although nobody asked Elijah what he meant by _other._

**The end.**

**This was completely random but I just decided to write it anyway, making up something like this just seems like something I can imagine Kol doing.**

**I don't think that Kol is a homophobe, he was more annoyed that nobody believed him than anything else.**

**Please review.**


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